"Hopeless!"
"Meaningless!"
"Hopeless!"
"Meaningless!"
"Hopeless!"
"Meaningless!"
I step between the rabbit and duck and I yell, EEEEEEE-NOUGH!
"We are going to settle this like gentlemen."

Later, after I've removed their ashes from the cremation chamber,
I mix them into a molten copper alloy I've heated in my backyard crucible
and forge a coin with their opposing cries on its sides.

I flip the coin into the air, miss the catch, and the coin clinks down into a storm drain. 
We